"I love the feeling of when he walks through the door from work each and every day, I love how he makes me feel beautiful and attractive when I look my absolute worst. I love how protective he is of me, it just melts my heart. I love how he has been beyond supportive with me and my goals in life. I love how he still to this day calls me multiple times a day from work just to talk and tell me he loves me. I love how he is always talking about our future; when we will be old and grey, I just freaking love him beyond life." an excited May tells how much she appreciates her handsome husband of 10 months, aww!
It's been ten months since May (Nigerian) and Robert (Ghanaian) got married but it still feels like yesterday - they walked down the aisle on the 16th of February, 2013 after dating for about 5 years and being engaged for 11months.
You see, they met in 2006 while in the university, and yes it was music that brought them together.
"I first saw him at school choir rehearsal back then. My friend and I arrived late so our music director locked us out. However, Robert pleaded on our behalf and we were let in. That was my first encounter. "
Like every curious lady will do, May asked about him from friends, she wanted to know who the good Samaritan was.
"Everyone I asked had one good/great thing or the other to say about
him. The best part was when I heard him sing, his voice was so wonderful
and I was captured by it; I
became interested in being his friend so I could learn from him as I
also was interested in music"
A few weeks later, during a Love Feast in the choir, names were written and folded and all the choristers were asked to pick a name and get a gift for the individual whose name was chosen.
"Everyone I asked had one good/great thing or the other to say about
him. The best part was when I heard him sing, his voice was so wonderful
and I was captured by it; I
became interested in being his friend so I could learn from him as I
also was interested in music" A few weeks later, during a Love Feast in the choir, names were written and folded and all the choristers were asked to pick a name and get a gift for the individual whose name was chosen.
"Fortunately for me, it was his name I chose. I asked
my male friends what I could get and the idea of a perfume came. I got
it and unfortunately, he didn't show up on the exchange day. I
immediately informed the music director and he said I should find a way
to look for him. All efforts proved abortive but after some days I found him; I
excitedly gave him the gift and all I got was a very cold "THANKS".
Anyway, May was already drawn to his big smile and his easy going personality plus he was very quiet and reserved.
Fast forward to 2007, Robert had now become the assistant choir director!
One noon, May and a friend of hers were having lunch in the university cafeteria when Robert strolled in.
Anyway, May was already drawn to his big smile and his easy going personality plus he was very quiet and reserved.
Fast forward to 2007, Robert had now become the assistant choir director!
One noon, May and a friend of hers were having lunch in the university cafeteria when Robert strolled in.
"He met us eating and joined us on our table after he ordered his
food, he was pretty close to my friend then because she was the Vice President of
the University Chapel."
While eating, he politely asked May for her mobile phone, played around with it, dialed his number on the phone, and discovered that May already had his contact. So the following conversation ensued between them:
Robert: So u even have my number?
May: Your number? How? When? (already pissed and angry)
Robert: Na so u like me reach?
May: Excuse me please can I have my phone.
While eating, he politely asked May for her mobile phone, played around with it, dialed his number on the phone, and discovered that May already had his contact. So the following conversation ensued between them:
Robert: So u even have my number?
May: Your number? How? When? (already pissed and angry)
Robert: Na so u like me reach?
May: Excuse me please can I have my phone.
Unknown to Robert, May had lent out the phone to a male friend a few
weeks back and during that period, the male friend saved so many names
and phone
numbers on the phone. On returning the phone, May didn't delete the
phone numbers he had stored.
May tried to explain this to Robert but he wouldn't listen to me so they parted on a sour note.
The next day, Robert put a call through to May, apologized and explained that he was only trying to be her friend, yeah and she accepted his apology!
May tried to explain this to Robert but he wouldn't listen to me so they parted on a sour note.
The next day, Robert put a call through to May, apologized and explained that he was only trying to be her friend, yeah and she accepted his apology!
"Surprisingly, when he called, I enjoyed the conversation we had. I found that he
had a great sense of humor. After that, we spoke on phone for few more weeks and finally I accepted his offer of being a friend!"
Robert officially asked May out on Friday 22nd February, 2008 at about 01:30am.
"My initial thought was for us to be just friends like I did with the others who asked me out; but I couldn't stop speaking to him. That night we spoke on phone for hours without a dull moment, we laughed over several issues, chatted about so many things too...anyways we remained friends until I finally accepted to be his woman in December 2008"
By then May had found that they were very compatible.
"I had made a list of what I wanted in my man and prayed about it. He fulfilled my list and even more than I could have ever imagined." she disclosed
Robert officially asked May out on Friday 22nd February, 2008 at about 01:30am.
"My initial thought was for us to be just friends like I did with the others who asked me out; but I couldn't stop speaking to him. That night we spoke on phone for hours without a dull moment, we laughed over several issues, chatted about so many things too...anyways we remained friends until I finally accepted to be his woman in December 2008"
By then May had found that they were very compatible.
"I had made a list of what I wanted in my man and prayed about it. He fulfilled my list and even more than I could have ever imagined." she disclosed
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| Beautiful Edo bride |
They both knew they were going to get married right from when they officially started dating so they
informed their parents and pastor's about the relationship on time.
"His parents were in full support, however I could only tell my Mum and Siblings because I was scared of my Dad's reaction. We summoned up courage after some months and informed my dad but he kicked against the whole affair. 'NO. Why Ghanaian? Are there no responsible men in Nigeria again?" he said.
"His parents were in full support, however I could only tell my Mum and Siblings because I was scared of my Dad's reaction. We summoned up courage after some months and informed my dad but he kicked against the whole affair. 'NO. Why Ghanaian? Are there no responsible men in Nigeria again?" he said.
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| Lovely brides, May and her sister |
That didn't stop May and Robert though, they kept praying and God took control.
"Years after, my dad asked Robert to see him and they had a chat which ended positively. That was how we got the approval of both parents and pastors after hearing from God."
They also had to battle the 'long distance challenge'. Robert moved back to Ghana in 2010 while May was working in Nigeria.
"Years after, my dad asked Robert to see him and they had a chat which ended positively. That was how we got the approval of both parents and pastors after hearing from God."
They also had to battle the 'long distance challenge'. Robert moved back to Ghana in 2010 while May was working in Nigeria.
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| Who rocked the dance better |
"We ensured that we talked every day just
to be together. He visited me in Abuja sometimes as his job was
demanding. We spent our time of courting in building a
foundation/relationship of love by praying and studying the word of God
almost on a daily basis. We wanted God to be first and to bless our
relationship. Throughout our days, we had many confirmations that we
were destined to be together. So we fixed a wedding date "
May and her sister got married on the same day!
May and her sister got married on the same day!
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| May and Rob, May's sister and her husband |
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| May and her sister |
The beautiful part of their relationship was staying away from sex, yeah, May was a virgin till her wedding night!
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| Their rings |
"You see, our
purity rings were given to us by our parents at the beginning of our relationship. They were on our fingers until
our wedding day when they were put on the ring pillow during our
ceremony. Our wedding night was awesome. Our
wedding night was not a passionate, hang from the ceiling, full
pleasure event. In fact, it was physically probably one of the worst
sex we’ve had but it was beautiful. It was intimate. It was the most
connected I have ever felt with anyone.
It was a gift. It was a prize. We made it, and it was worth it."
It was a gift. It was a prize. We made it, and it was worth it."
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| We cute the cake! |
Asked how she felt for being able to stay pure till her wedding night, May said
"There is this joy that comes with waiting. The actual waiting process is hard and I do NOT recommend an 11 month engagement or 4 years like we did (God’s grace is big, let me tell you…), but the prize is so good at the end. It’s like running a marathon. It gets harder and harder as you go, but once you cross that finish line, it’s all about the glory of what you did, or DIDN’T do. So is waiting for marriage to be sexually intimate with your mate. Not only has it allowed me to see Robert in a way that I have never seen another man (both physically and in general) but it has allowed me to connect to someone (and only ONE someone) in a way that truly blows me away. It is a connection like none other that I could ever communicate unless you have experienced it yourself."
On how the marital journey has been, the very much-in-love couple disclosed thus:
"Marriage is one of our greatest “testimonies” of God’s grace and love in our lives. How we love each other and our children is an important part of our work, so we are very intentional about the health of our marriage. This has given us the opportunity to love each other well. We will soon celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary."
"There is this joy that comes with waiting. The actual waiting process is hard and I do NOT recommend an 11 month engagement or 4 years like we did (God’s grace is big, let me tell you…), but the prize is so good at the end. It’s like running a marathon. It gets harder and harder as you go, but once you cross that finish line, it’s all about the glory of what you did, or DIDN’T do. So is waiting for marriage to be sexually intimate with your mate. Not only has it allowed me to see Robert in a way that I have never seen another man (both physically and in general) but it has allowed me to connect to someone (and only ONE someone) in a way that truly blows me away. It is a connection like none other that I could ever communicate unless you have experienced it yourself."
On how the marital journey has been, the very much-in-love couple disclosed thus:
"Marriage is one of our greatest “testimonies” of God’s grace and love in our lives. How we love each other and our children is an important part of our work, so we are very intentional about the health of our marriage. This has given us the opportunity to love each other well. We will soon celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary."
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| Couple and groomsmen |
And then, May said "My husband is my best friend, partner,
lover, and buddy that I would not trade for anything in the world. He is funny, sweet, generous,
smart, lovable, and I could not ask for anything
more with him. I can tell him ANYTHING and I know I will never be judged.
We have had an incredible time together. At this point, 10 months of our lives have been spent with each other, and the ride has been tremendous. Marriage has been very good for and to us."
We have had an incredible time together. At this point, 10 months of our lives have been spent with each other, and the ride has been tremendous. Marriage has been very good for and to us."
Here are a few things the Ghanians
have learned along the way:
1) You can have a great marriage even
if your parents did not. We often meet people who think because their
parents’ marriage didn’t go well, that will be their experience.
2)
In Christian marriage, mutual submission and care are needed. You are
partners and friends; not “man” plus a woman to serve “man.”
3)
People change and so will your spouse. You have to commit to changes
that will happen with your spouse. Spouses will change and grow, just as
you will.
4) Kids don’t make a marriage. Your children will
leave, and marriages centered around children are soil for unhappiness.
Do something to give your undivided love and attention to your spouse
every week.
5) Spend money on your marriage, the same way you
save for the house, your kid’s college education, or a rainy day. Put
money away to spend on or go away with your spouse.
Aww, that's some eye opening advise!
Aww, that's some eye opening advise!
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